A baby for Christmas

On the 22^nd of April Catherine found out that they were pregnant. “I remember the date so clearly because it was also my father’s birthday”. They were over the moon. Her gynae had warned her that she may struggle to fall pregnant, “but we did it all on our own”, she recalls.

At around five months of pregnancy, Catherine’s gynae told her that he felt she should have a caesarean. He explained that the baby was a face presentation. “I was really disappointed and not convinced that he was correct so early in the pregnancy. I was not comfortable with the information and so sought the help of a midwife” explains Catherine.

The midwife was very experienced and worked in conjunction with a maternity hospital. It seemed to be the best of both worlds. “If everything went well, I could have my natural, water birth but if things went wrong, there were doctors in the hospital.”

“My due date was on the 16^th of December. Baby didn’t come and I was advised just to be patient. First babies often went over dates and all seemed well.”

“At around 2pm on the 23^rd of December, I felt like something was wrong. I couldn’t explain what but somehow my tummy felt different and I was extremely emotional”, Catherine recalls. She called the midwife who reassured Catherine that this was all normal at her stage of pregnancy. Her body was getting ready for the birth.

“At around 6pm a mucus plug came out. My waters never broke but the contractions started”. The midwife advised Catherine that labour had started but that she could wait at home until the contractions became more frequent. “By 10.30pm the back pain was intense but the contractions hadn’t changed”. The couple decided to wait until morning.

“I called the midwife around 9am on the 24^{th of} December, to inform her that I was still in pain, especially in my lower back, but that the contractions still hadn’t changed”. Being a first-time mom, Catherine was unaware that labour pain may be experienced in the lower back. The midwife apologised to Catherine and said that she just needed to finish some last-minute Christmas shopping and would meet them at the hospital around 12 noon. The couple made their way to the hospital with two neatly packed bags. They were extremely excited that the time had eventually come for them to meet their baby.

“I was met in the hospital by very caring nurses who showed us to our homely room” Catherine went on. The midwife arrived and examined Catherine. She was about 3 cm dilated. The midwife asked Catherine to start walking around the room to encourage the contractions.

“At around 3pm I got into the birthing bath. The pain was intense and I was hoping the water would bring some relief.” By 4pm Catherine was contracting heavily but she had not yet dilated more than 4cm. The midwife wanted to give the labour another hour but Catherine recalls “I just knew this baby wasn’t coming as planned.”

A gynae was called to assess the situation. He advised that I was in need of an emergency caesarean. “It all happened so fast. I was terrified but relieved at the same time.”

Catherine was taken into theatre. A paediatrician arrived and said that he had been made to do a U-turn to rush back to the hospital. He had been on his way to a Christmas Eve dinner with his family. Catherine hadn’t even thought of a paediatrician. In the event of a normal delivery, a paediatrician doesn’t need to be present. For a caesarean section, a paediatrician is usually present.

Catherine’s son was born at 5.30pm. She remembers looking at him in absolute shock. “He was purple and not breathing”.  Baby was taken to the neonatal unit where he spent 2 hours in an incubator, warming up. It wasn’t long before she was holding her beautiful newborn in her arms.

Catherine recalls with a giggle “He weighed a massive 4,14kg’s. He looked so odd in the incubator, with his long limbs, that my mother said he reminded her of a purple prawn in a tiny tub.”

Catherine can still remember the rush of emotions immediately after the delivery. She was exhausted, confused, dazed and disappointed that she hadn’t been able to have the birth she had longed for.

 

When asked about advice to a mom giving birth at Christmas time, Catherine has the following advice:

 

• Check out the facility where you will be having your baby
• If you are planning on having a normal delivery, with a midwife, ensure that you know what plan B will be, if things do not go the way you hope.
• If you are under the care of a gynae, find out if your gynae will be available
• Find out who is standing in for your gynae should he or she not be on duty over the Christmas period. Be sure to go and meet them ahead of time.
• Familiarise yourself with a caesarean and what it involves even if you are planning on having a normal delivery.
• Know what an emergency caesarean means. In my case, my baby was in trouble but very often it is simply the term given for an unscheduled caesarean. Hearing the word emergency will always distress parents.
• Prepare yourself mentally for a change in plans. After my caesarean a very wise nurse said to me “one thing you must remember is that you are having a baby with the view to a healthy child. If it means that baby must be delivered by caesarean section then so be it”. It gave me a lot of comfort.
• COVID has taught us that we can have family meetings even when we are not all gathered in one place. Get a family member to bring you some of your Christmas favourites and set up a Zoom session so that you can be part of the festivities. This is not a must of course, but something fun if you are up to it.

 

Catherine had her second baby in September three years later.

 

Catherine explained how was the Christmas experience different to having a baby in September:

• I was in a hospital at a time of year that is usually filled with special family time, at home.
• Even although I did receive visitors, people were rushing home to get preparations under way.
• Many of my friends were away on holiday, so I missed out on the excitement of introducing my new son to many people for some time.
• I was the only patient in the maternity ward so it was very lonely.
• The nurses were kind and would pop to see me and then ask if I minded if they went and joined in on a Christmas lunch.
• There were also fewer support people around. The lactation specialist that I had hoped for was away until the new year, the audiologist was not available to test my baby’s hearing and so on.
• One thing I can say for sure “He remains the best Christmas present I have ever received”

 

If you are having a baby at Christmas time, take note of Catherine’s advice. Do a little research before your due date so that the arrival of your most magical gift is more or less what you expected, instead of a series of fast lessons. Most of the advice given by Catherine applies to a baby born at any time of year, especially about being prepared for a change in plans. A Christmas baby is in no way different to a baby born at another time of year. They are a blessing and a joy. They are all going to have you longing for the days you could sleep in on a Sunday morning, brush your teeth without someone screaming at you, and lie in the bath for hours just loving that round tummy. The only difference with a Christmas baby is that your support may take the form of people you did not anticipate being there in the moment. Catherine concludes her story by saying “I couldn’t have asked for a better gynae, paediatrician or nurses. They were all wonderful and cared for me throughout my time in the maternity section.”